Relationship Remix - Rebuilding Trust
Relationship Remix - Rebuilding Trust
Rebuilding trust with difficult people
Monday October 20th 2025
Curious, how many of you pay attention to warning labels? I think in most cases everything you purchase has a warning label on it. Here are just a few that I came across.
- On a Batman costume: "Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly."
- electric razor for men: "Never use while sleeping."
- warning label on a baby stroller- "Remove child before folding"
- warning on a brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook, "Harmful if swallowed"
Maybe one of the most infamous warning labels came from a 1992 incident with Stella Liebeck and McDonald’s. Stella spilled scolding hot coffee on her lap, that resulted in third degree burns. She did sue McDonald’s and the courts found McDonald’s guilty, simply because they did nothing with the previous 700 complaints they received for serving coffee at excessive temperatures. So, yes, we now have coffee cups that say, “Caution: Hot Coffee.”
Even though we can find those warning labels a bit ridiculous, how often would that be helpful within life and within relationships? Think about it, a warning label for people. I’m guessing in some of our past relationships, we wish we had read the label of a person or a situation to warn us as to what could possibly be coming our way.
We are in the middle of our relationship remix series and the mini-series of rebuilding trust. Well today, you’ll be happy to know, that this message has turned into a two-part message, how do you rebuild trust with difficult people?
I have really struggled with this message. I did a lot of reading, reflecting, praying, how do we have an honest discussion that can be so broad that it leaves room for misinterpretation, absoluteness, ignorance or negligence.
Because let’s be honest, left to ourselves, each of us can be difficult. Many of us are going to be tempted to define “difficult” the way we want to. Trust me, I know I do.
I think that’s why I appreciate what Dan Allender shares in his book, Bold Love. Which by the way, incredible resource to do a deeper dive into what we are talking about today and in a few weeks.
“A label simply cannot tell us what someone will do, although it may help us assess something about their heart … labels can be useful without being destructive when they push us to consider (given the differences) the common themes that tie people together in their subgroups.”
Which means, yes, I’m going to give a few categories (labels) of what it means to build trust with difficult people. It isn’t to be destructive, but it is to be honest with who we are dealing with and how we should deal with people, including ourselves.
That’s the other challenge. I want to give you examples of what we are talking about, but some of those examples may have similarities to you, or to your spouse, your parents, your co-workers, your kids. I share them not to live in condescending confidence, religious arrogance, but also not to be ignorant or negligent.
Besides, don’t take my word for it, notice how the Bible talks about people, labels, or categories of people. Let’s flip to Proverbs. We will hang out here for a little bit. Proverbs is considered wisdom literature and was written by King Solomon. Proverbs 9:7-9- 7 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. 8 Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Notice we have three labels of people. Mockers or we will use a parallel word, fool, wicked, or we will call evil, and the wise.
To help us out, I want to show you a continuum to help better explain the sliding scale and the invitation to move in better direction. Because for some, when we say evil, we say, “I’m not evil, because evil in our minds are people like Stalin, Hitler, Jeffry Dahmer, whoever. And because there is nothing about them that are like me, I’m not evil.”
Let me it break it to you … we have the capacity to do evil. We have the capacity to be a fool. Trust me, this hits home more than I care to admit, especially as I look over the decades of my life. But ultimately, are we moving and growing in what it means to be wise?
Because King Solomon gives us caution on how to deal with the evil people and fools, but he also gives us challenge in what it means to be wise. That challenging someone who is moving towards wisdom should extend to love and appreciation for that challenge. That there is growth within life when we challenge the wise.
Friends, today, I want you to grow in wisdom, I want to love you enough to share some challenging things, that yes, may hit too close to home, for yourself or for people within your life. I want to share with you what scripture says about dealing with difficult people, people who are evil and people who are fools. Which means the examples I give may sound like things you’ve done, or it may sound like your spouse or parent or kids or friends.
I don’t share it to damn you or them, I share it so we can grow in loving others and having wisdom in what it means to rebuild trust with difficult people.
Jesus even calls it out in Matthew 7:11, “you, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children.” We are capable of doing evil, committing evil, causing harm to ourselves and our relationships, but is the content of my heart completely evil? Do I consistently, repeatedly go seeking to do evil to self and others, without a willingness to show empathy or changed behavior?
Today, as we introduce this discussion. I want you to sit with this song, I Trust in God , may this be the anthem for the week.
- On a Batman costume: "Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly."
- electric razor for men: "Never use while sleeping."
- warning label on a baby stroller- "Remove child before folding"
- warning on a brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook, "Harmful if swallowed"
Maybe one of the most infamous warning labels came from a 1992 incident with Stella Liebeck and McDonald’s. Stella spilled scolding hot coffee on her lap, that resulted in third degree burns. She did sue McDonald’s and the courts found McDonald’s guilty, simply because they did nothing with the previous 700 complaints they received for serving coffee at excessive temperatures. So, yes, we now have coffee cups that say, “Caution: Hot Coffee.”
Even though we can find those warning labels a bit ridiculous, how often would that be helpful within life and within relationships? Think about it, a warning label for people. I’m guessing in some of our past relationships, we wish we had read the label of a person or a situation to warn us as to what could possibly be coming our way.
We are in the middle of our relationship remix series and the mini-series of rebuilding trust. Well today, you’ll be happy to know, that this message has turned into a two-part message, how do you rebuild trust with difficult people?
I have really struggled with this message. I did a lot of reading, reflecting, praying, how do we have an honest discussion that can be so broad that it leaves room for misinterpretation, absoluteness, ignorance or negligence.
Because let’s be honest, left to ourselves, each of us can be difficult. Many of us are going to be tempted to define “difficult” the way we want to. Trust me, I know I do.
I think that’s why I appreciate what Dan Allender shares in his book, Bold Love. Which by the way, incredible resource to do a deeper dive into what we are talking about today and in a few weeks.
“A label simply cannot tell us what someone will do, although it may help us assess something about their heart … labels can be useful without being destructive when they push us to consider (given the differences) the common themes that tie people together in their subgroups.”
Which means, yes, I’m going to give a few categories (labels) of what it means to build trust with difficult people. It isn’t to be destructive, but it is to be honest with who we are dealing with and how we should deal with people, including ourselves.
That’s the other challenge. I want to give you examples of what we are talking about, but some of those examples may have similarities to you, or to your spouse, your parents, your co-workers, your kids. I share them not to live in condescending confidence, religious arrogance, but also not to be ignorant or negligent.
Besides, don’t take my word for it, notice how the Bible talks about people, labels, or categories of people. Let’s flip to Proverbs. We will hang out here for a little bit. Proverbs is considered wisdom literature and was written by King Solomon. Proverbs 9:7-9- 7 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. 8 Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Notice we have three labels of people. Mockers or we will use a parallel word, fool, wicked, or we will call evil, and the wise.
To help us out, I want to show you a continuum to help better explain the sliding scale and the invitation to move in better direction. Because for some, when we say evil, we say, “I’m not evil, because evil in our minds are people like Stalin, Hitler, Jeffry Dahmer, whoever. And because there is nothing about them that are like me, I’m not evil.”
Let me it break it to you … we have the capacity to do evil. We have the capacity to be a fool. Trust me, this hits home more than I care to admit, especially as I look over the decades of my life. But ultimately, are we moving and growing in what it means to be wise?
Because King Solomon gives us caution on how to deal with the evil people and fools, but he also gives us challenge in what it means to be wise. That challenging someone who is moving towards wisdom should extend to love and appreciation for that challenge. That there is growth within life when we challenge the wise.
Friends, today, I want you to grow in wisdom, I want to love you enough to share some challenging things, that yes, may hit too close to home, for yourself or for people within your life. I want to share with you what scripture says about dealing with difficult people, people who are evil and people who are fools. Which means the examples I give may sound like things you’ve done, or it may sound like your spouse or parent or kids or friends.
I don’t share it to damn you or them, I share it so we can grow in loving others and having wisdom in what it means to rebuild trust with difficult people.
Jesus even calls it out in Matthew 7:11, “you, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children.” We are capable of doing evil, committing evil, causing harm to ourselves and our relationships, but is the content of my heart completely evil? Do I consistently, repeatedly go seeking to do evil to self and others, without a willingness to show empathy or changed behavior?
Today, as we introduce this discussion. I want you to sit with this song, I Trust in God , may this be the anthem for the week.
Posted in Daily Faith Challenges
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