Relationship Remix - Rebuilding Trust
Rebuilding trust with difficult people pt.2
Monday November 3rd
Two Sunday’s ago, I started a message entitled how do you rebuild trust with difficult people? I shared from Proverbs 9, where King Solomon warns us about two types of people, evil people and foolish people. Inviting us to live as wise people.
Part of what I shared was, wouldn’t it be nice if people came with a warning label. Warning this person may have explosive episodes of anger. Warning this person may be so self-centered they will never see anyone in the picture but themselves. But part of the problem was, we all have a tendency to do evil things, but are our hearts evil and are we moving towards hearts of wisdom?
This week we are going to talk about how do we rebuild trust with a fool? But here in lies the problem. When I’m talking about being a fool there are a variety of labels we associate with fool. Think about it. Simply put, we have a mock holiday, April 1st April Fools Day, where we go around playing pranks on people, fooling people. OR what about fools gold, it looks real, but it’s not. OR the phrase, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” Or Mr. T from the A-Team, “I pity the fool.”
But there are also very personal labels that we can put on ourselves or others. Statements like, “I don’t want to make a fool of myself.” Or “I don’t want to look like a fool.” Those are real statements, and I would argue that they have deeper meaning than this conversation has time for. But I also know that they can hold us back from experiencing more within life.
Here’s the challenge, I want us to reset our definition of fool, which we will get to in a minute. I also need to give you some good news and bad news. Bad news first.
We can all be fools, we can all do foolish things. I can be a fool, I have been a fool, and even though I’m trying to grow I will be a fool again in the future. You are a fool, you do foolish things and will do foolish things.
As we’ve been going through this series, the challenge has been, what do we see in ourselves first and than how do we tend to our relationship. Which means, as we are going through this foolish discussion, look at yourself first, then let’s look at the fool in the relationship.
What are we talking about when we are talking about being a fool? I’m going to let King Solomon and the book of Proverbs help us define what a fool is. If you have your sermon notes, you will notice I didn’t put the full passage down. I want you to write in the fool descriptor next to those verses and you can go back and reread them at a later date.
Did you know that there are almost 200 references to fool in the Bible and over 70 of them are in the book of Proverbs. Don’t worry, we are only going to observe 10% of those.
Proverbs 1:7- The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
What do you see as a descriptor/definition of a fool?
A fool hates wisdom, hates instruction.
Proverbs 12:15- The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
Proverbs 18:2- Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.
What do you see here, a fool?
My way, my opinion, which leads to my truth. Especially in today’s society when people go around and say, “it’s my truth” which then makes it untouchable, yet according to Solomon, you’re a fool, I’m a fool when I insist in living according to my truth.
Proverbs 14:3- A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them. Proverbs 14:16- The wise fear the Lord and shun evil, but a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure.
Proverbs 29:11- Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.
What do you see as a descriptor of a fool here?
A fool is prideful, angry, hotheaded, no restraint. Or let me put it this way, feelings are not a fruit of the Spirit, but self-control is. A fool lives based upon their feelings with little to no self-control.
Proverbs 15:5- A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.
What do we see?
A fool hates discipline, hates correction.
Proverbs 20:3b- every fool is quick to quarrel.
A fool looks for an argument, argue for argument sake, demanding to be right.
Proverbs 26:11- As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
A fool is repetitively foolish. There is such imagery with this passage. Fools return to their folly, like a dog returning to its vomit. No point, going back to something disgusting. And this is the clincher between consistently being a fool, having a foolish heart and making foolish decisions. More on that in a moment.
Based upon what King Solomon says in Proverbs, how would you define a fool? Sit with that for a moment.
Do you see any tendencies within yourself?
Either way, sit with God for a moment, as well as, take a listen to this new song we introduced on Sunday. Praise the Lord Forever
Two Sunday’s ago, I started a message entitled how do you rebuild trust with difficult people? I shared from Proverbs 9, where King Solomon warns us about two types of people, evil people and foolish people. Inviting us to live as wise people.
Part of what I shared was, wouldn’t it be nice if people came with a warning label. Warning this person may have explosive episodes of anger. Warning this person may be so self-centered they will never see anyone in the picture but themselves. But part of the problem was, we all have a tendency to do evil things, but are our hearts evil and are we moving towards hearts of wisdom?
This week we are going to talk about how do we rebuild trust with a fool? But here in lies the problem. When I’m talking about being a fool there are a variety of labels we associate with fool. Think about it. Simply put, we have a mock holiday, April 1st April Fools Day, where we go around playing pranks on people, fooling people. OR what about fools gold, it looks real, but it’s not. OR the phrase, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” Or Mr. T from the A-Team, “I pity the fool.”
But there are also very personal labels that we can put on ourselves or others. Statements like, “I don’t want to make a fool of myself.” Or “I don’t want to look like a fool.” Those are real statements, and I would argue that they have deeper meaning than this conversation has time for. But I also know that they can hold us back from experiencing more within life.
Here’s the challenge, I want us to reset our definition of fool, which we will get to in a minute. I also need to give you some good news and bad news. Bad news first.
We can all be fools, we can all do foolish things. I can be a fool, I have been a fool, and even though I’m trying to grow I will be a fool again in the future. You are a fool, you do foolish things and will do foolish things.
As we’ve been going through this series, the challenge has been, what do we see in ourselves first and than how do we tend to our relationship. Which means, as we are going through this foolish discussion, look at yourself first, then let’s look at the fool in the relationship.
What are we talking about when we are talking about being a fool? I’m going to let King Solomon and the book of Proverbs help us define what a fool is. If you have your sermon notes, you will notice I didn’t put the full passage down. I want you to write in the fool descriptor next to those verses and you can go back and reread them at a later date.
Did you know that there are almost 200 references to fool in the Bible and over 70 of them are in the book of Proverbs. Don’t worry, we are only going to observe 10% of those.
Proverbs 1:7- The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
What do you see as a descriptor/definition of a fool?
A fool hates wisdom, hates instruction.
Proverbs 12:15- The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.
Proverbs 18:2- Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.
What do you see here, a fool?
My way, my opinion, which leads to my truth. Especially in today’s society when people go around and say, “it’s my truth” which then makes it untouchable, yet according to Solomon, you’re a fool, I’m a fool when I insist in living according to my truth.
Proverbs 14:3- A fool’s mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect them. Proverbs 14:16- The wise fear the Lord and shun evil, but a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure.
Proverbs 29:11- Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.
What do you see as a descriptor of a fool here?
A fool is prideful, angry, hotheaded, no restraint. Or let me put it this way, feelings are not a fruit of the Spirit, but self-control is. A fool lives based upon their feelings with little to no self-control.
Proverbs 15:5- A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.
What do we see?
A fool hates discipline, hates correction.
Proverbs 20:3b- every fool is quick to quarrel.
A fool looks for an argument, argue for argument sake, demanding to be right.
Proverbs 26:11- As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
A fool is repetitively foolish. There is such imagery with this passage. Fools return to their folly, like a dog returning to its vomit. No point, going back to something disgusting. And this is the clincher between consistently being a fool, having a foolish heart and making foolish decisions. More on that in a moment.
Based upon what King Solomon says in Proverbs, how would you define a fool? Sit with that for a moment.
Do you see any tendencies within yourself?
Either way, sit with God for a moment, as well as, take a listen to this new song we introduced on Sunday. Praise the Lord Forever
Posted in Daily Faith Challenges
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