Relationship Remix - 3 C's That Sabotage Relationships

Friday, November 28th

Curiosity leads the way to fully know and fully love others.

Take a moment and read Luke 7. What do you see? What do you hear? Pay attention to curiosity and what holds people back from curiosity.

Luke 7:36-50- 36 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” 40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said.41 “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. 44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” 48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” 50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

What did you see? What got your attention?

Lack of curiosity for Simon led to making judgements about the woman AND Jesus. Jesus in his curiosity of heart, challenged with a story, but then essentially called out all the ways Simon stayed in his arrogance and judgement.

Simon didn’t care for Jesus, it was a publicity stunt, it was a showcase. Simon didn’t honor his guest in the ways that Jesus illustrated.

But in the woman’s curiosity and in the way Jesus lived, she was fully known, even in her sin, and fully loved. She was fully forgiven and her expression towards Jesus illustrated that understanding.

If we aren’t willing to be curious with others, especially those close to us, it limits us to how much we know about them and how much we will truly love them. Curiosity leads us to fully know and love others. Curiosity also allows us to be fully known and fully loved.

Think about it, if there is angst in a relationship and you choose to be curious, it can allow you to ask questions of yourself differently too.

- What’s going on here? In me or in the other person?
- What DO I need to respond to and how?
- Do I need to be silent or speak up? Live it out differently than what you are accustomed to.
Be curious not scared about it.

Lack of curiosity reinforces our walls of fear, judgement, arrogance, laziness. Lack of curiosity closes our eyes, mind, and heart to others and opportunities. Lack of curiosity keeps us blocked from fully knowing and loving others.

Leonardo da Vinci observed this well. He says, traditionally humanity "looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, inhales without awareness of odor or fragrance, and talks without thinking." But not da Vinci. The quintessential Renaissance man called the five senses the ministers of the soul. Perhaps no one in history stewarded them better than he did, da Vinci trained himself in curiosity.
In your relationship remix, can you be a disciple of curiosity? Be curious to break down walls, open your eyes, mind, and heart to the opportunities that lead the way to fully know and fully love others.