Relationship Remix - Rebuilding Trust

Thursday, November 6th

The first two steps of rebuilding trust with a difficult person is first mirroring their actions, then it is inviting challenge or discipline. Which finally brings us to our last step enforcing boundaries.

Proverbs 15:31- Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.
I love that picture, boundaries are life-giving correction, when done with humility, boldness, love, and courage. I wonder what rebuilding trust with a fool would look like if we had this mindset about boundaries.

Jason Grisham shouldn't be alive. During his attempt to scale an electrical tower, the 22-year-old man received a shock that is usually fatal. Partway up the tower, 69,000 volts of electricity coursed through his body, knocking Grisham to the ground. Despite suffering burns to his chest and having his pants explode, the young man was admitted to the hospital in good condition.

How did Grisham get into such a predicament? It was no accident. A seven-foot-tall fence, topped with barbed wire, surrounded the electrical tower. Electric company spokeswoman Angeline Protegere said the spot where Grisham climbed over the fence was bracketed by signs saying "Danger/High Voltage."

Folks, that is an electrifying picture of what it means to enforce boundaries with a fool. They need to be clear and the consequences of those boundaries should have a “bite” or a shock to them.

Back to the person with a toxic tongue or tone. You show them the power of their words in a mirror, you invite challenge with steps for them to take to change. Then you enforce boundaries. If they don’t change the way they are talking to you, enforce the boundaries. You will leave the room, hang up the phone or find another way home. That is the challenge, a choice to change, a choice to keep doing what you’ve always done or work toward something different.

As hard as it is, a fool most likely will not repent unless they feel pain, coupled with a supernatural working in his heart, then you can begin to engage in discussion and life change. Because the fool needs to show remorse, grief, sadness over their foolishness before deeper trust can ever happen.

Where do you need to reinforce boundaries for yourself? Holding yourself accountable or asking someone to hold you accountable for the change you want to see? Then how do you reinforce boundaries with the person you are rebuilding trust? Don’t let the off the hook, it could cost you and them, it may be an electrifying experience.