Relationship Remix - 3 C's That Sabotage Relationships

Thursday, November 20th

We are working on the premise that Christ-centered conflict is an invitation to grow in character, peace, and unity for ourselves and others. Today’s conversation is about growing in peace. Remember, peace does not mean the absence of conflict or chaos. Peace is wholeness, completeness, but in order to have peace you have to have chaos, conflict, tension. An invitation to peace is to name the chaos, the tension, name what is broken and seek to resolve. Seeking peace is having the courage to realize that the issue usually isn’t the issue.

A great example of this is Jesus and Peter.

Remember, Peter disowned, rejected, ran away from Jesus at the point of his arrest and beating. Peter was confronted and in fear ran away. Then three days later Jesus rises from the dead, besides the women, who was the first to meet Jesus? Yeah, Peter.

I wonder, do you think when Peter saw his risen Savior, he was hoping that Jesus also had amnesia? Maybe he won’t remember that I denied and ran away? Maybe we can just move on as if nothing happened?

Sure enough, to a degree that’s what Peter did because at the beginning of John 21 Peter went back to his old job. He went back fishing and he brought some of his buddies with him.

Read John 21: 1-14- Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee. It happened this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. 4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.5 He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?” “No,” they answered. 6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
7 Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. 8 The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. 9 When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.
10 Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” 11 So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. 12 Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13 Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. 14 This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

I love the fact that Jesus, even after the resurrection, kept showing and inviting the disciples into more, more faith, more community. The other thought here is, Jesus made breakfast for the one who rejected him, denied him, said he didn’t want to have anything to do with him. There was brokenness because of rejection and Jesus sought peace with Peter. Then Jesus goes “Hey Pete, can we chat.”

Read John 21:15-17- 15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

The issue wasn’t the issue. The issue could have been the fact that Peter denied Jesus, rejected him, ran away. Yes, Jesus tended to his relationship with Peter, but he also invited him into a greater purpose. Essentially saying, “Peter, don’t keep running from what you were invited to do. Fish for men, not fish. Go to those that are broken, just like you, and invite them into a peace that surpasses understanding.

When we are courageous to look and see that the issue typically isn’t the issue, that opens the door to peace, a healing or tending to something that was broken.

For instance, real quick and with little detail. I remember this summer and being with my dad. There was some weird tension and conflict as we gathered. I couldn’t figure it out and it left me wondering and wandering. I didn’t know where to step into it. I eventually texted him and asked if he felt something off. Thankfully he acknowledged it but didn’t know what it was about. A few weeks later we met face to face and unpacked more of what was going on. What I thought was the issue, wasn’t the issue. But the prompting of me asking what was going on, allowed my dad to do deeper search for himself and revealed some pain that he was carrying from his youth that was coming out side ways. It was a beautiful time of peace, healing what was broken within, and the issue seen wasn’t the issue resolved.

Today, how can you step into peace, but seeing the issue that isn’t the issue? Seeing that there may be something more going on and instead of judgement, you sit in curiosity. More on that next week.